Indak

Nitong mga nakakaraang araw ay sinusubukan kong bumuo ng maikling kwento tungkol sa aking buhay pag-ibig pero di ako makasulat ng maigi. Naumpisahan ko na pero hindi ako makahanap ng katapusan, siguro dahil na rin sa kawalan ng inspirasyon. 

Tapos ngayong araw ay ginoogle ko ang mga kanta ng Up Dharma Down dahil papanuorin namin sila sa 19 East bukas at natagpuan ko nga itong kantang ito. Indak ng bandang Up Dharma Down. Isang bagay lang ang naisip ko nung narinig ko ang kabuuan ng kantang ito, SAKTO.

Para sa mga taong magkatunggali ang puso at isipan.

Indak 

Up Dharma Down

Tatakbo at gagalaw
Mag-iisip kung dapat bang bumitaw
Kulang na lang, atakihin
Ang pag-hinga'y nabibitin

Ang dahilang alam mo na
Kahit ano pang sabihin nila
Tayong dalawa lamang ang makakaalam
Ngunit ako ngayo'y naguguluhan

Makikinig ba ako
Sa aking isip na dati pa namang magulo?
O iindak na lamang
Sa tibok ng puso mo

At aasahan ko na lamang na
Hindi mo aapakan ang aking mga paa
Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasayaw
Habang nanonood siya...

Paalis at pabalik
May baong yakap at suklian ng halik
Mag-papaalam at mag-sisisi
Habang papiglas ka ako sayo ay tatabi

Tayong dalawa lamang ang nakaka-alam
Ngunit hindi na matanto kung sino nga ba ang pag-bibigyan ko
Makikinig nga ba sa isipan na alam ang wasto

Ngunit pipigilan ang pag-ibig nya na totoo

Iindak na lamang ba sa tibok ng puso mo
At aasahan ko hindi nya lamang aapakan ang aking mga paa
Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasaya
Habang nalulungkot ka
Pipikit na lamang at mag-sasaya
Habang nalulungkot ka

Ako'y Litong-lito
Tulungan niyo ako
Di ko na alam
Kung sino pang aking pagbibigyan oh

Ayoko na ng ganito
Ako ay litong-lito

Ang Tulog na Ninja

I used to write short stories and poems when I was young and carefree. This is one of my favorite composition because it has the most solid story line and I have written this on the peak of my young love. Writing this was a breeze because it felt like I was possessed by a really strong feeling and words come out naturally. Unfortunately, I haven't felt that strong feeling, or any strong emotion for that matter, in a long time. Imo, people are most creative in their late teens and early 20s. Anyways, below is the story of a sleeping ninja that I decided to post here so it wont be lost forever just in case Ridz of rakista.com decides to finally delete the old rakista.com site, like what happened to the rakista blogs site. The deletion of rakista blogs is like having the late teens and early 20s part of my life erased. There is even a part 2 to this ninja story but it already got deleted along with my rakista blog. Lesson: pick a stable blog hosting site.

Ang Tulog na Ninja

First posted at rakista.com version 1

Ang sikat ng araw ay nagapi na ng kadiliman, ang buong kalangitan ay nababalot na ng mga bituin at ang hangin ay nagdudulot na ng nakakapasong lamig. Mula sa bintana ng maliit na kwartong aking kinaroroonan ay wala nang maaaninag na liwanag sa parang. Marahil ay namamahinga na din ang mga diwatang naninirahan sa puno ng alatires. Ang bawat ninja ay kapiling na ang kanikanilang mga prinsesa.. At ako, kasama kita.

Pumilatak si kaibigang butiki na namamahay sa ilalim ng mesang kainan. Napansin ko tuloy na nakatengga pa ang kalderong pinaglutuan ng ginataang duhat kanina. Kay rami mong nakain kaya siguro ikaw ay agad na nahimbing.

Lumigid ang aking paningin na wariý kinakabisado ang bawat bagay, bawat marka, bawat agiw at bawat alaala na napapaloob sa kwartong ito. Hanggang sa kahit anong pigil ay nabaling ang aking tingin sa iyo. Tulog na tulog ka at parang walang pakialam sa mundo at sa taong kasama mo. Lumapit ako sa gilid ng iyong kama at sumalampak sa sahig upang makapwesto sa posisyong aking matatanaw ang iyong mukha ng pinakamalapit. Tinitigan kita at matapos ang ilang sandali ay dagliang nagbalik sa aking diwa ang nakaraan.

Sa pagkakatitig ay hindi na lang ang nakapikit mong mga mata ang nakikita. Itoy wariý naging isang telebisyong ang palabas ay ang ating nakaraang kay saya. Napapanuod ko ang tagpo kung saan, isang hapon, tayo ay nangongolekta ng sabila upang ilako sa kapitolyo.. At ang aking
pinagtataka ay tuwing kasama kita, kay halimuyak ng sabila. Waring nagbibigay ito ng kakaibang sigla, kaya siguro marami tayo noong mga suki galing India. Nalipat ang channel at ang tagpo na pumalit ay ang pangyayari kung san hinambalos ako ni Aling Tinay. Pinagtawanan ko daw kasi siya nang nadapa siya at natapon ang pinamili niyang pagkain ni Lesdi[alaga niyang isda]. Hindi ko naman talaga siya pinagtatawanan e, hindi niya alam na ang mga ngiting iyon ay dahil sabay na tayong nanunuod ng Dora. Nalipat muli ang istasyon, mukhang komersyal ata ng Tide pero wala si Tolits, malamang Ariel o baka Pride.. Hindi ko masigurado, puro mantsa kasi ang mga damit ng mga tauhan.. at.. at.. hayun pala tayo. Kakatapos lang magpagulong gulong sa burol n wariý
mga bata. Wala tayong pakialam sa mantsa bastat tayoy masaya at humahalakhak. At sa taas ng burol ay may piknik basket na puno ng KFC at mga pagkaing mula sa martir na manok. Hayan.. hayan nalilipat na naman.

Nagbalik ang tanawin sa iyong mga matang nakapinid at hilik na kay himbing.

Akoy biglang nakaramdam ng kakaibang hinaing mula sa pusong nais maglambing.. Ngunit hindi nararapat.. hindi tama.. hindi ngayon.. Upang mapawi ang nararamdaman ay muli kong niligid ang aking tanaw sa maliit na kwartong saksi sa atin. Kinakabisado ang bawat bagay, bawat marka, bawat agiw, at bawat alaala na napapaloob sa apat na sulok ng kwartong ito. Nagsisikip na ang aking dibdib ngunit tahimik pa din akong nakaupo sa tabi mo.

Gusto kong sabihing aalis na ako at marahil ay hindi na tayo muling magkikita pa pagkat hindi tama ito. Hindi pinahihintulutan ng hokage ang mayroon tayo. Ang bawat sandaling kasama ka ay takas na mga oras at alam kong iyon ay tumitigib sa iyong damdamin. Dahil hindi kita kayang ipaglaban, dahil ganito ang sitwasyon ko, at alam kong nahihirapan ka na at pagod na rin ako. Hindi ko kayang nasasaktan ka tuwing wala ako kapag kailangan mo at naririyan lamang ako sa iyong tabi kung kailan ako pupwedeng makatakas sa nagluwal. Pero hindi na lang siguro, lilisan na lamang ako at pagdilat mo ay wala na ako. Mas masakit kasi kung magpapaalam pa. Ayokong makita mong tumulo ang aking mga luha. Para kahit sa huling pagkakataon ay isipin mong matatag din naman ako kahit paano. Alam kong makakahanap ka din ng higit sa tulad ko. Yung
kaya kang pangalagaan at pasiyahin sa lahat ng oras na naisin mo.

Nangingilid ang luha sa aking mga mata, at nang maisipan kong tumayo na ay parang naging bakal ang aking buong katawan. Kahit anong pumilit kong gumalaw ay hindi ko magawa. Bawat pumiglas ay umuubos sa aking lakas. Sa gitna ng pagpupumilit na makaalpas sa pagkakatuod ay napansin kong ikay naalipungatan. Sa iyong pagdilat at sa pagtama ng ating mga paningin ay biglang nagbalik sa katinuan ang aking balintataw. Ano ba itong aking naiisip.. Bakit nga ba ako lalayo sa tangi kong ligaya, sa tanging dahilan ng pagharap ko sa bagong umaga, sa aking buhay na
kayamanan. Aalagaan kita, poprotektahan, at mapapasaya. Ipaglalaban kita hanggat may hininga. Maiintindihan din nila ang mayron tayo.

Lalo pa akong natauhan ng iyong ipamalas ang pinakamatamis na ngiti, na kahit bagong gising ay puno pa rin ng sigla. "Malayo pa ang umaga, sige matulog ka pa". "e bakit ikaw gising ka pa? Tara dito sa tabi ko at matulog na tayo". Hawak mo ang aking kamay habang dahan dahang tinutungo ng aking sentido ang unan mo at dinama ng aking paa ang nisnis ng iyong kumot.
"Tulog ka na muli, tulog na din ako".. Sa unti unti kong paghugot ng himbing ay baon ko ang alingawngaw ng iyong hilik, ang alaala ng iyong pagkakapikit at ang pangarap na
habambuhay ay bantayan kang umidlip..

Uninvincible

I thought I was invincible, but it turned out that a mosquito bite could knock me down. Well, the doctors didn't really confirm it was Dengue and the Rapid Dengue test results are negative but all of the symptoms I experienced pointed to that pesky mosquito. 

I got sick for 7 days, 2 of which was spent within the four walls of a hospital. On the first day, my fever was so bad that I couldn't even get up without being too dizzy and fall down again. I even asked my father to fetch me in my apartment so I could eat and come home to our province so someone could take care of me. I went to the nearby Medicard Center on the second day and the doctor doesn't even believe that I was sick because my temperature became normal after the sponge bath. The CBC showed that my segmenters are above the normal count so the doctor advised me to take some Co-amoxiclav. The on and off flu went on for the next days. I went to a second doctor (now in Bulacan) on the third day, this doctor had me take the Rapid Dengue test and another set of CBC, platelet count. The Rapid Dengue test showed that I am negative of Dengue but the CBC showed my decreased platelet count from 204 to 187. That and other bad things about my hematocrit and blah. On the 4th day, I thought I was fully recovered but I still revisited my doctor as per everyone's advice. He saw the results of the previous test and advised me to be confined to the hospital. I refused because I feel ok (thinking I am invincible). This is probably one of the worst decisions in my life because right after I got home, the persistent high fever started. At this point I am starting to channel Morrie (from Tuesdays with Morrie) and I am already praying and telling Him that let his will be done on me. The second doctor had me take the Thypidot test and another CBC for the fifth day. I am negative of Typhoid but my platelet count became 133 which is below normal. Even if I refused (me still thinking I am invincible), my parents decided to get me admitted to a hospital. I checked in Meycauayan Doctors Hospital Suite Room B last July 21. The first time I was ever admitted to a medical facility. I stayed there for 2 days. After couple of more lab tests, my platelets are back to normal and my third doctor with an LV bag advised me that I could go home already. And that was my week long battle with this viral blood infection that hit me.

If the sickness doesn't kill me, the helplessness that the dextrose gives and the over thinking that boredom allows will. I never want to be hospitalized ever ever again. 

And as I always do, I learned a couple of things with this experience (from my over thinking in the hospital).

Life is short. We should always do what makes us happy. Enjoy life NOW.  

Stop saving too much for the future, I couldn't enjoy all those money when I am dead.

No matter how much you eat right and exercise, if it is your time, it is your time. 

We should learn to appreciate everything in our life.

Your family will always be there for you during the bad times, so you should celebrate with them during the good times.

Bikini Body Part 1: The Beginning

I used to have defined abs back in high school because I do at least 50 sit ups everyday. During PE, I would beat my male classmates in having the most amount of sit up repetitions in 2 minutes. Then came college when I lost a lot of weight (Engineering, nuff said) that my tummy looked flat even if I do not exercise. Then I graduated, got a job, had money to buy foods that I like, got old which slowed down my metabolism, which caused me to lose that oblique abdominal muscle definition that I have before.


Since I am aiming to be in an out of town destination more which would mean I get to soak in the beach more than I used to, and since I am 25, at the right age to be not so conservative, I thought I need those ab muscles back so I could wear a bikini and show it to the world *wink wink*. 


I have a planned out of town trip in November to South Cotabato (General Santos, Saranggani, Lake Sebu). I am the one who is doing the itinerary and even if I prefer the mountains than the beaches, I can not resist the waters that Glan, Saranggani has to offer.

Gumasa Beach

So, me in a two-piece low-cut bikini it is. I have 4 months to work my body off.


I have downloaded this video probably about a month ago and have been doing it at least twice a week. It features variations of planking that targets your upper abs, lower abs and obliques (love handles). I like this video because it is perfect for beginners, she is easy to follow and she mentions all the wrong things that a beginner might do.

  

Ok, below are the picture of the "before" body that I am working with.

 

FYI, I am currently eating this salty soup and drinking coffee that is why I look really bloated. Hehe! Excuses! Well, maybe I should eat healthier too.

In the span of four months, I will be posting pictures of my progress and even after that goal in November, I hope to continue planking until I can. Bikini body, here I come!

Health Inspirations

Lunch: Wendy's Big Macaroni Salad

Dinner: Left over lunch, Ripe Mangoes and Watermelon

Alam mo yung matagal kang hindi nag exercise ng todo todo tapos bigla kang tumakbo ng more than 30 minutes kaya nabatak ang mga muscles mo tapos natulog ka at paggising mo ay hindi ka na makatayo dahil ansakit ng katawan mo. Yan ang naramdaman ko kanina pagkagising ko pero dahil sa impluwensya ng mga finafollow kong fitness blogs sa Tumblr ay bumangon nga ako at tumakbo ulit. Sa pagkakataong ito, nakamahigit na limang ikot ako sa paligid ng SM Southmall. Hindi ko nga lang nabilang kung ilan kasi nagcoconcentrate ako na hindi himatayin dahil sa sobrang pagtakbo. Hehe. Ramdam ko ang mga ugat kong nanginginig habang tumatakbo. Hanep! I feel like a real runner that is pushing myself to the limits.. Echos!

Pero grabe ansarap tumakbo at pagpawisan at masikatan ng araw. Ito yata yung tinatawag nilang natural endorphin. Kahit pa hindi mamahalin ang sapatos ko, hindi katulad ng mga nakakasabay kong tumakbo na halos mga nakaNike Free lahat, kahit pa lumang Nike na nabili ko noon 2009 lang ang suot ko, ok lang kasi wala naman sa sapatos yan, nasa pagnanais mong maging healthy. =) 

Hindi na ako nakapagpicture ng sarili ko na kasing dramatic ang pose katulad nung previous post ko kasi nagmamadali na akong nagbihis para makakain na ako dahil nagugutom na ako (hehe) kaya ayan, pinost ko na lang yung kinain ko kahapon. 

Sabi nga nila, it's not a phase, it is a lifestyle. =)

At bilang pasasalamat at pagkilala sa kanila, ito nga pala yung mga encouraging na mga Tumblr health blogs na finafollow ko:

http://reasonstobefit.tumblr.com/

http://yoga-body.tumblr.com/

http://roadtotherealme.tumblr.com 

http://fit-healthy-gorgeous.tumblr.com/ 

http://happystrongandfit.tumblr.com/ 

http://featherweighed.tumblr.com/

http://lets-get-in-shape.tumblr.com/

http://runningforbeauty.tumblr.com/ 

I am sure after browsing through those blogs, seeing the different ways that you could do to be healthy and seeing all those abs and rocking bodies, maiinspire ka talaga na magpakahealthy. 

Early Morning Run

 Start the day right.

I think the DIY yoga from downloaded videos in youtube improved my strength. All those variations of planking, mountain pose, triangle pose, extended side angle pose, and down dog pose paid off. I was able to run longer distance without getting tired easily. I love it! I was able to do five laps around SM Southmall. Ok fine, it was alternate running and walking. The fourth and fifth rounds were mostly walking (hehe). Even if I wanted to run some more, I prefer to enjoy the sun. I was just walking slowly and feeling the warmth that the early morning sun has to offer. I hope it will not rain tomorrow so I can start the day right again. =)

Make Time for Your Dreams

I am a Network Engineer with a couple of certifications under my belt. I am a Cisco Certified Network Professional, Cisco Certified Design Professional, Cisco Certified Network Associate for Voice, ITIL v3 Foundation and ITIL v3 Operational Support and Analysis certified. Before you start hating me because of all this kayabangan (peace tayo :D), what I am doing is nowhere near the things that interest me most. 

My job has nothing to do with proper handling of money, it doesn't allow me to travel and it certainly doesn't make me a healthier person. In as much as I would like to quit my job and search for my self and what I really want to do, I can't. I need to earn money for me and my family. This is the sad reality. I can't go back in 2003 when I was in 4th year high school and choose another course instead of taking up Electronics Engineering (or Electronics and Communications Engineering back then). I need to give up my passions for a bigger paycheck.

I thought my dreams are over until I was introduced by my office mate, Sheryl, to the travel blog of Chyng Reyes. I read about her different travels in and out of the country and felt envy with all her experiences. I browsed her blog all through out my shift disregarding the trouble tickets that I have to work on (Boss, I don't usually do this! Promise! Haha. :D) because her stories are addicting. Then I realized how boring my life is and started to feel pity for myself as what I would always feel whenever quarter life crisis strikes. I was starting to drown in gloom when I clicked on her personal profile. She is an Electronics Engineer with a job in the IT industry just like me! Asahdshdfshfeiuwrhewdnfwekvnqhgijncgfwijefhiwqchrniuiehjrfwechrciwqhtni!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could actually continue doing the job that I know and still be able to travel!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to jump all over the place when I realized this (but I can't 'cause I am in the office). It feels like having your braces removed after so many years of metal slavery! Redemption! 

I learned from her blog that if I want to do something, nothing should stop me from doing it. I don't have to make any drastic life changing moves to follow my dreams, all I have to do is allot time for it. 

I hope I could get to see her, or join one of her group travels. No, I won't tell her that she changed my life in a way and that she inspired me and that she gave hope for my dreams because that would be stalker-ish and creepy. I would just thank her and tell her to keep safe in all her travel like a friend would. Thanks Chyng! =)

God Bless the World

A man that is fed up with pop culture, is sick and tired of the iGeneration and hates the idiot-box-dependent world so much that he wants to kill anyone who is a slave to it. I recently watched this movie and me and my Nokia 1208 could totally relate with Frank, the main character.

I agree with almost all of Frank's point specially the one's mentioned below:

No one has a real conversation anymore.

A group of friends couldn't hangout without anyone looking down on their phones.

The youth always has this need to record everything, they can't be contented with just being at the moment.

An 8 year old kid should NOT be given an iPhone or a Blackberry.

Every 16 year old spoiled brat should die 

This is not a deep heart-crunching life-changing movie. Some Nicholas-Sparks-novel-turned-movie-lover might even say that this is a nonsense movie. Vampire and Zombies would probably love this movie due to the abundance of blood and killing. But imo, the movie shows how ALL of us are victims of what we see on TV. Victims of what the different forms of media is trying to make us think. Frank is a victim of the boobtube too because he thought he was saving this William Hung Wannabe(WHW) from humiliation, what he didnt know is that WHW loves any kind of attention he could get. And with him knowing that, he lost his faith in humanity (to quote a famous 9gag line) and went on a killing spree with his AK9. 

If I am going to meet him in real life, I would probably go with him on his saving the civilization mission like this teenage girl he met. I could see my self in the character of Roxy, only with less cooler taste in music.

Nah, my hands wont be drenched with blood soon but I just wish for something better. I know this is one sign of ageing, when you think that the current generation SUCKS. 

Ok, enough for trying to make you believe I am a hipster. Your wifi capable phone is ringing, you might want to answer it while I blow your head off. =P

Lost

Sound like this girl is lost. But come to think of it, a person who doesn't have a destination could never be lost but sailing without a harbor in mind is tiring. 

I am tired of floating around without a clue where should I go. The lack of post in this blog is an evidence. It means there is nothing happening in my life that I feel is worth sharing. I feel like I have this larger than life spirit that is just waiting to take off but something is preventing it to soar. 

If I am going to summarize my passion to three things they are finance, health and traveling. But my job is nowhere near those three, what a tragedy. Ok, so maybe the reason why I am doing diverted things from my passion is because I do not set goals.. err, destination. Fine. So let me create concrete aspirations.

FINANCE
I am going to be a billionaire with passive income by the age of 35.
I am going to have my own house by the age of 30.
I am going to straighten up my finances before I reach 26. 

HEALTH

I am going to get serious with yoga and I am going to work out at least one a week.
I am going to have abs before this year ends.
I am going to share health and wellness knowledge with other people.

TRAVELING
I am going to go to a different country at least once a year.
I am going to go to a new place within the Philippines at least twice a year.
I am going to aim for a travel job.

There you go. I know, I know. These goals are quite vague but at least now I have goals to aim for instead of just swimming with the current of life. I am reclaiming my dreams. Yes. 

Oh, and I might have to change that description on my blog as I am not lost anymore.

 

Kalayaan 2012

Kagabi ay nakatanggap ako ng email mula sa isang employer sa Doha, Qatar. May job opening sa posisyon ng Desktop Support Specialist sa kumpanyang Halian na nakabase sa bansa na mura ang langis. Nang mabasa ko ang email na ito ay minessage ko agad ang tito ko na kasalukuyang nakatira at nagtatrabaho sa Qatar. Naexcite din siya kaya tinawagan niya pa ako at niresearch pa nila ng tita ko ang kumpanyang Halian. 

Pag-asa. Nakalagay kasi sa job description na magiinstall sa mga desktop. Naalala ko ang trabaho ko sa Land Bank. Naisip ko na baka sakaling sa trabahong ito ay magkaron ulit ako ng chansang makapagbyahe byahe. O kaya kung mataas ang sweldo ko ay magkaron ako ng sapat na pera para makapamasyal sa Europe kasi yun talaga ang pangarap ko sa buhay. Ang malibot ang buong mundo.

Naisip ko din na seryosohin na ang pagaapply ng migration sa New Zealand. Balak ko nga na mag-aral para sa IELTS exam at makapasa bago matapos ang taong ito at kumuha ng Masteral ng IT sa La Salle sa 2013.

Kaso sa pagkakandarapa kong makaalis ng bansa ay natisod ako sa isang blog entry mula sa mas bata kong sarili. Saktong dalawang taon na ang nakakalipas ay naisulat ko ito:

June 12, 2010

At kahit marumi na ang pangmasang imahen ni Sharon Cuneta at pati na rin ni KC Concepcion. Tama nga naman, dahil kagaya ng kaligayahan, ang kalayaan ay para sa lahat ng mga taong pumipili dito. 

Alam naman nating lahat na alipin tayo ng iba't ibang ehemplo ng lipunan pero nasa sa atin kung pipiliin ba nating tayuan ng DMCI homes ang ating mga puntod o umalpas sa kamangmangan at kahirapan na ipinamana sa atin ng nakaraan henerasyon.

Hindi ko alam kung saan nangggaling yung mga ideya ko sa huling paragraph. Kung paanong ang paghahanap ng trabaho sa ibang bansa ay napunta sa DMCI homes pero ang alam ko, panalo talaga dapat si Pacquiao laban kay Bradley.