After years of resisting every opportunity to visit Bangkok, I finally booked a flight to one of Asia's consumerism capital. Bangkok is one of the most popular destination for Western backpackers in Southeast Asia. It is also popular among Asians as a shopping mecca. Popular and shopping, two words I try to navigate away from, and two reasons why I was never eager to visit Bangkok. But since I thought I've changed a lot after I moved to Malaysia, I gave Bangkok a try. I even agreed to travel with a group of people that are not really in my close circle of friends, people whose travel style I have no idea on.
The past six months are probably the most identity-changing phase in my life. I moved to a new country away from my loved ones and away from the culture I am familiar with and then, the only person that was giving me the courage to move forward in my new endeavor decided to abandon me in the worst way possible. My best drinking buddies are miles away, alcohol is expensive and there are no good beaches near Kuala Lumpur. I have always
thought that I knew a lot of things about love and that I am mature enough when it comes to matters of the heart but this past
half-year made me realize things that changed my
deep-rooted beliefs. I perceived myself as strong
and independent but as it turns out, it was just a facade. I have been through a lot since I was a kid and
I never expected that a broken heart in a foreign country will bring me
down, but it did. One night I found myself
wanting to end everything because nothing makes sense anymore and the
pain I felt was just too much. But here I am, still alive and still able to write this entry in this blog.
Tomorrow, Malaysia and I will celebrate our monthsary. The past 30 days are brimming with new experiences but just like any other relationship, we've been through a few rough times.
"This could be the last solo travel that I will embark in a while." - Paulakwatsera in Cebu, December 2014 Destiny always finds a way to prove me wrong. Just when I declared that I will not be traveling alone anytime soon, here comes the greatest solo journey of my life.
March 20th, what should have been the International Day of Happiness is the day I left my loved ones to work and live in a new country for a few years.
It is a place where free spirits and wandering souls take refuge, like hers that once found itself in its shores almost a year ago. Wandering and free, a state she should've preserved she thought. But this dopamine-inducing utopia found its way to her mind and eventually her heart and she found herself willingly caught in its zealous trance. She doesn't know what happened. A couple of months back she was happy and full of love, then one bad decision led to the next and here she is now, ruptured in the in-between. Broken hearts, shattered dreams, fragmented idealism. A mess beyond repair.
That feeling when you are on your way to a destination and for some reason your heart is beating faster than usual. You know that it is not because you are traveling alone and it is also not because you have not made any reservation on where you're going to stay. It is a feeling that is more on the spectrum of the day before a field trip to a theme park in elementary school. You can't breathe, you check your sleepless self in the mirror, you check the people around you if they are noticing your anxiety. And suddenly, from a distant, you saw his contagious smile and your heart feel that you are home.
"Guys, this is Pau, my... girl." "Hey, do you surf too?" "No." Weak smile as a response, and they go about talking how glassy the waves are earlier that day and how good the waves are going to be tomorrow according to the forecast at another spot. No one even bothers to ask what I do for fun. Heck, I've been to a lot of adventures than a normal person and I thought my life has been pretty interesting because of my travels until I got to know him. Then I realized how boring, comfortable, and normal my life is. Also, how antisocial, old-fashioned, uncool and unstylish I am.
"Even
though I took a step back from things that the metropolitan world would
describe as success, I could say that it is one of the best years of my
life. It is the year when I discovered my love for the mountains, my
affection for the waters and most importantly, my passion for traveling." - Paulakwatsera in Baler, December 2013
My first job (2009 - 2010) allowed me to become a Mabuhay Miles elite member and be up in the air almost every week but even though I constantly travel during that time, I had the littlest appreciation of the places that I'd been to. Going back home is the first thing that I have in mind the moment I set foot on a new place back then.
A global community of 7 million people in more than 100,000 cities who share their life, their world, their journey. Couchsurfing connects travelers with a global network of people willing to share in profound and meaningful ways, making travel a truly social experience. With Couchsurfing, you can stay with locals in every country on earth. Travel like a local, stay in someone’s home and experience the world in a way money can’t buy.
I first heard of this website while researching an itinerary for the South Korea trip. I came across the blog Chronicles of Marianne and I've read about the author's couchsurfing experience in Korea. I thought it was interesting to get free accommodation whilst getting to experience a place on a local's perspective, safely away from the tourist traps. I immediately signed up and was surprised with how massive the Couchsurfing community is in the Philippines. It turned me off a bit though because most of the meet ups in Manila are in a bar on a Thursday. Being that geeky introverted person that I am, I knew for a fact that it is not my kind of crowd.
All this
time I thought I was traveling to find myself, I didn't realize that I
am just using it as an excuse to escape who I really am. It
is not always about meeting truckloads of new people and ticking off a
new destination out of your list every week. Sometimes living life to
the fullest means appreciating the relationships that you already have,
bringing joy to whichever place you are always in and being thankful
for that awesome person that you already are.
A zombie infested run in a yuppie infested place like BGC, you already know that it's not going to be as realistic as Outbreak Enchanted Kingdom. I've been skeptical ever since they announced that the fifth outbreak (1 - Nuvali, 2 - BGC, 3 - EK, 4 - Cebu) will be in BGC again. I read reviews on the first zombie run in BGC and it wasn't good. But as a birthday gift to my persistent cousin, I agreed to register us to this fun run. This is our second time to join this event. The first one was in Outbreak Enchanted Kingdom on October 31, 2012 when I went as Nyan Cat. Halloween, Zombie run, inside a carnival with only Zombies inside, it is the perfect setting to psyche the runners. It is a huge success and it is really hard to top it off.
It is February 15. The day after the mass-retail-made-up-celebration called Valentine's day.
Yesterday, I have been trying to control myself to not post any anti-Valentine status and I succeeded. But residue photos of flowers and chocolates and all those crap in my Facebook news feed today are really testing my bout.
Oh well, what a better way to celebrate Single Awareness Day than to rock out in UP Fair with my single and fabulous friends.
No, we are not bitter at all. These girls constantly remind me that it is better to be single than to be unhappily attached. That it's better to discuss our dreams of traveling the world than to complain about each other's spouses. I have always thought that single people are just too picky, but I realized that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being extra critical when it comes to choosing someone that you will spend the rest of your life with and give up your dreams for.
And again no, Disney princesses didn't fucked up our expectations about love. It's more of how Joan of Arc, Amelia Earhart, Florence Nightingale, Helen Keller, Emily Dickinson and Marie Curie showed us what we are capable of.
Ok, enough of the heavy stuff, here are the fun we had in this year's UP Fair.
The Abot-kayang Ticket
Rock Climbing, Deadly Roller Coaster, Small Circumference Flying Fiesta, Deadlier Octopus
And the most generic first blog post for 2013 would be a New Year's resolution. So this part would be me explaining the significance of new beginnings, how 2012 was a good year and that 2013 will be a better year and all that stuff but I'll just get right into it. I am posting this as a reminder to myself of the 3 simple things I'll do more often this year. 1. Be kind to myself and others. 2. Be more impulsive. 3. Talk.
Ano pa ba ang silbi ng bawat umaga Kung sa bawat paggising ay wala ka Kahit sulyap lang sa iyo ay hindi natatamasa Siguro ito na nga, tapos na. Hindi ko na ipipilit kung ito talaga ang nakatakda Kahit hindi naman talaga ako naniniwala sa tadhana Kung ito ang makabubuti, hahayaan ko na nga Na magwakas itong ating pagiibigan na akala nati'y di magsasawa Pagkat iba na ako, iba ka na, iba na ang tayo Mga pagkakaibang pareho nating hindi gusto Marahil hindi natin alam kung paano tayo humantong sa ganito Ngunit kailangan nating tanggapin ang pareho nating alam, kailangan na nating wakasan ito.
I logged in Zuckerberg's kingdom at 12/21/2012 06:00 GMT +8 and that early, it already annoyed me. People counting down to the end of the world. SRSLY. Another reason why I got annoyed though is that I haven't received any birthday greeting on my wall yet. Hehe.
I don't really make a big fuss about my birthday but I decided to make this year different. This year I decided to celebrate it with a small feast with my family. Well yeah, maybe at the back of my head I was thinking that if the world will really end on that day, at least I get to celebrate it with my loved ones.
Funny how even my family was surprised that I celebrated my birthday with them and they kind of believed that it might really be the end of the world because of it. Well, it is not called Doomsday, its called getting old and appreciating the things you have in your life.
Come tothink of it, it was actually the best birthday I could ever remember. It was definitely better than last year. 12/21/2011, I just took the CCNA Voice exam, opened an account in Citisec Online brokers and renewed my Electronics Engineer license.
Wow, I just realized that how I celebrate my birthday sort of determine how my year was. 2011 was a busy-productive-career-focused year, thus my 12-21-2011 activities. 2012 was a laid-back-finding-my-happiness year and that is why I decided to be with the most important people in my life. Oh well, too much for talking about my birthday. I am just excited with how 12-21-2013 is going to be like.
For years, this image had been the wallpaper on my old phone. It's file name is viveros.jpg, a default name from the source I downloaded it from. I don't know why I am fixated to this photo/painting but I like the emotion that is being projected out of it. Conservatives would think that this girl needs help but I dunno, I believe that if she would look at generic people, she would think that we all are slaves of the norms and she would say that we also need help. Well, maybe its just me and my secret rebellious self wanting to be Amy Winehouse. So I've lost my phone and this image but not my secret self. And today I was browsing through deviantart to find a wallpaper for my new phone when out of the blue I remembered about viveros.jpg. That name didn't mean anything to me before until after I googled Viveros. Brian is the artist's name, a typical American name or so I thought. After browsing through his incredible works, Brian Viveros became more than a name to me and he might actually be the best Brian I ever came across. Brian Viveros is the guy who made the image above. And I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that I LOVE all of his works. I am not claiming to be artsy but I think a work of art is great when it makes you feel a certain emotion just by looking at it. And for him to be able to convey that emotion to a generic person like me is amazing. I don't feel pity for his bruised female paintings, I feel envious because they are brave enough to say "I don't care what you think", do what they want and get to experience life. Unlike the pitiful generic people in their boring everyday suits. And yes, that is the Winehouse in me talking. Oh and by the way, this is my home screen wallpaper:
I dunno if using his images without him profiting from it is illegal. As for my country, nothing cyber is illegal here.. :) But I plan on supporting him by buying a Viveros shirt as a birthday and Christmas present for myself.
Noong isang araw nanakam ako sa mga kantang sumikat nung 2004. At ang unang kantang naisip ko ay ang Lunes ng Spongecola. Lunes din kasi nung araw na yun. Tapos naalala ko na yung CD pala ng spongecola ang regalo ko sa kanya nung una naming mansari. Tapos dahil Lunes at gusto kong saktan pa lalo ang sarili ko ay pinakinggan ko sa Youtube ng paulit-ulit ang mga kanta sa album na Palabas. Ang ganda ng lyrics ng mga kanta sa album na ito. Hanep. Parang mga tulang sinaliwan ng musika. Hindi ko na nasubaybayan ang Spongecola matapos nilang maging sobrang sikat, pero hindi ko na sila masyadong naririnig ngayon. Pati na rin ang iba pang mga bandang nagumpisang sumikat noong 2004. Matapos ang walong taon, may mga ilan na nanjan pa rin pero hindi na kasing husay ng mga kanta nila dati yung mga inaawit nila ngayon. Marahil ay tuyo na ang kanilang bukal, ang bukal na unti unting inuubos ng pagkamulat sa buhay, responsibilidad at pagtanda.
Ngunit kahit wala ng mapiga sa dating umaapaw na bukal, ang bukal ay nanjan pa din. Pwedeng balikbalikan upang sariwain ang masayang ningning ng nakaraan.
