Monday, February 9, 2015

Cebu: The Last Lone Adventure

In a Sukhasana, I face the sunset of Moalboal. Had I done this two years ago, it would have brought me tranquility but I am now a different story.

I sat there questioning where and when I lost it. Am I getting old? Have I become a conformist? Am I getting too mainstream? Have I finally started to love my job and am I missing the stress that comes with it?

I breathe consciously but I couldn't exhale the feeling that I am at the wrong place at that moment, that my heart longs to be somewhere else.

I could have been diving with thresher sharks, rubbing elbows with whale sharks, conquering Osmeña Peak, or enjoying Cebu City's rad night life but I sat there wanting to take the next flight home. 

The view of the sea and the mountains doesn't excite me. For the first time I felt that I want to flee my great escape. The one thing that had always provided me with clarity and direction is of no use in figuring out what is wrong with my element.

Or perhaps this heart now belongs elsewhere. Another type of love must have outgrown my love for displacement. No matter how I tried to deny and pretend that I am my usual wanderlust self, each day in Cebu kept my soul yearning for something, someone. Someone who may have forever tainted my love for traveling alone and being alone in general. 

This could be the last solo travel that I will embark in a while. 

“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”
― The Zahir, Paulo Coelho

Solo in Cebu Series
Cebu: Canyoneering Moalboal
Cebu: The Last Lone Adventure

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