Saturday, December 12, 2015

2015: A Year of Why, What and How

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." - Bob Marley

2015 came in and I was the best version of myself. I had blemish free skin, white and smooth underarms, a second-look-worthy boyfriend and a social-media-glorified relationship, a top performance rating and salary increase at my previous job, and a great future ahead of me.

2015 is when I was offered overseas a position that I had always wanted. This is the year that is supposed to jump-start my life and my career but something unexpected happened.

According to Elite Daily, BuzzFeed, and every other website for the millennials in their quarter life crisis, a person should live abroad at least once in their lifetime. The reasons listed by these websites said it is fun, it will make you grow as a person, it will change your perspective in life, and it will make you appreciate where you came from. But none of these articles ever mentioned that when one dares to ask more from life, there is an immense possibility to experience a great deal of pain and depression.

A few months after moving to Malaysia, the things which proved that I am not a failure, all of the achievements that I hold on to, crumbled as I helplessly watched every piece of my life slowly fall apart. 

But I guess when you are stripped off of everything you had, there you will find who you truly are. And there I discovered someone I am not most proud of. I found a weak spirit, a fragile heart, a confused mind and an empty purpose. 

If there is one important thing that 2015 taught me, it is that I should learn to love, forgive and accept myself at my worst

I have no issues loving, forgiving and accepting other people in their brokenness and I realized that this is what I should also do for myself.

According to Zora Neale Hurston, there are years that ask questions and there are years that answer. 2015 is definitely a year of why, what and hows. This has got to be one of the most character defining 365 days of my life. The year I was tested to my limits and almost failed. But this is also the year I became truly aware of who I am now and which areas in my life I need to improve on.

With all of that being said, I recognize that 2016 requires a lot of hard work and to be honest, I am not as excited but I know I am ready.

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